First Paleo Dairy Cheat and How it Opened my Eyes

Ok, so to start, I am not going to take a thing away from this Paleo pizza I made last night - it was incredible. But I have to document my thoughts on my first big cheat. When I started Paleo I promised myself that when I lost my first 20 pounds I would allow myself to get a big giant thin crust cheese pizza and bite the hand off anyone that tried to take a slice. That was the reward, and honestly the thought of that pizza has kept me going over the last month. It makes sense it's what I can't have.

When researching Paleo and looking on Pinterest, there are lots of recipes that are not strict Paleo. Some people need to do this for dietary reasons and allergies. I just needed to do it because I am way overweight and need to get healthy. So when I saw the replacement breads, rolls, crackers, english muffins, etc. of course my little devil in my stomach tells me to make them because they are a much better alternative than what I used to eat. That part isn't wrong. But substituting healthier flours almond, coconut, tapioca,  to make pizzas all the time isn't going to help me either. Food is never going to be "the old way" and I'm glad for it. I may be over zealous at only a month in but my habits have finally changed. I needed that pizza, needed that reward.

Anyway what am I getting at? Blah, blah blah...... What hit me like an arrow in the forehead tonight was that I decided to make a Paleo pizza - cheese can be left off to exclude dairy. But what did I do? I bought a really good hunk of buffalo mozzarella and decided to make my first big cheat. And after chopping and cutting and dicing, and making tiny matchsticks of vegetables for the past 4+ weeks, I cut into that cheese..... and blob. It smooched under my knife and I had a hard time cutting it. It struck me instantly that this cheese, this blob, is what I have been filling myself with for almost 40 years. (Ok now my age is out there too.) And damn, no wonder. You are what you eat, and I am a big giant cheese.

I am not being self deprecating - I do love who I am inside this jail of a body, but wow what a wake up call. Oh and just be clear, I did eat the Paleo pizza with cheese and it is f**ng amazing. But this is a moment that I need to remember on this journey because it is a transforming one for me. And this is exactly why I want to keep this journal a reminder a long the way of small adjustments in habit and thinking that will hopefully end with a healthier me.