Quick status update

I haven't written a status update since returning from England so I figured it was time to catch up and get my progress down so that I do not start to slide to old habits. It's amazing how accountable I feel when I have to put this to type.

Pounds: I had reported on the 10th that I had gained 2 lbs on the trip. Happy to say that those are now gone again. And 1 more lb I wasn't expecting! 

Exercise: The Couch to 5K ended up being a little much for me right out of the gait. I am approaching 40 and haven't done any real exercise other than chasing after my toddler and stairs to do laundry since he was born two and half years ago. I realized that I don't bounce back from exercise the way I used to and my hips were taking a beating even with a good amount of stretching and warm up. 

My new exercise love, you may ask.. or not... but I am telling you anyway is Zombies Run! I have never been into the whole zombies thing, I don't watch the The Walking Dead, or get into games, etc. BUT I came across this following a thread one day and thought an interactive exercise game sounded pretty cool.

You follow a story line of being dropped in the middle of a zombie infested territory (I can't believe I am writing these words) and you need to run to the protected township and pick up supplies along the way. There are episodes that you follow where you are sent on various missions. 

It's an app I have on my Android phone and I use while having my favorite Spotify playlist, Nike Running Tempo Mix, and the game lowers the music volume for announcements like "Run you are being chased by a zombie from the east!" and you better run or you loose some of the supplies that you have gathered during the game. 

It's really a lot of fun and makes the time go by really fast. 

Frustrations: Not having more time to prepare meals. That hurdle will never go away until I retire or until we move to a place where we could afford for one of us to have a reduced schedule or work from home. It is hard keeping it all together planning and cooking the meals as well as packing lunches and snacks and trying to do it all on a very tight budget. It can be done, and we are doing it, but I would just love to sit down every once in a while before 9pm. That's not the fault of Paleo but circumstance. Still a pain point for me none the less. 

All in all doing great, feeling motivated, and happy it's the weekend. 

No Place Like Home

After traveling for three weeks straight, I am back home. There is no place like home. And I am happy to have my kitchen back, my 1950's, orange, chrome-trimmed kitchen is like a palace to me right now.  I can't believe I am saying that.

I am not going to lie. Maintaining Paleo while traveling was very difficult. The food is all tempting and eating out makes controlling ingredients hard, especially without everyone around the table looking at you in exhaustion while you have a briefing with the waiter about all of the dishes. I gave in to fish and chips in England and homemade strawberry pie on the 4th of July in Maine. Better people than I have maintained, I am sure. But all in all, I was not reckless. I did gain two pounds on which I am back on track to try ditch.

While away, I also found it challenging to think about this blog. I am not giving up - that's for sure but I think I need to simplify a bit. So, no more pressure to put out weekly menus at this point. I am just going to document my progress and share recipes that I love along with my experiences on preparing food for work and late night dinners. I have to remember that I am doing this for me and nobody else.

First Paleo Dairy Cheat and How it Opened my Eyes

Ok, so to start, I am not going to take a thing away from this Paleo pizza I made last night - it was incredible. But I have to document my thoughts on my first big cheat. When I started Paleo I promised myself that when I lost my first 20 pounds I would allow myself to get a big giant thin crust cheese pizza and bite the hand off anyone that tried to take a slice. That was the reward, and honestly the thought of that pizza has kept me going over the last month. It makes sense it's what I can't have.

When researching Paleo and looking on Pinterest, there are lots of recipes that are not strict Paleo. Some people need to do this for dietary reasons and allergies. I just needed to do it because I am way overweight and need to get healthy. So when I saw the replacement breads, rolls, crackers, english muffins, etc. of course my little devil in my stomach tells me to make them because they are a much better alternative than what I used to eat. That part isn't wrong. But substituting healthier flours almond, coconut, tapioca,  to make pizzas all the time isn't going to help me either. Food is never going to be "the old way" and I'm glad for it. I may be over zealous at only a month in but my habits have finally changed. I needed that pizza, needed that reward.

Anyway what am I getting at? Blah, blah blah...... What hit me like an arrow in the forehead tonight was that I decided to make a Paleo pizza - cheese can be left off to exclude dairy. But what did I do? I bought a really good hunk of buffalo mozzarella and decided to make my first big cheat. And after chopping and cutting and dicing, and making tiny matchsticks of vegetables for the past 4+ weeks, I cut into that cheese..... and blob. It smooched under my knife and I had a hard time cutting it. It struck me instantly that this cheese, this blob, is what I have been filling myself with for almost 40 years. (Ok now my age is out there too.) And damn, no wonder. You are what you eat, and I am a big giant cheese.

I am not being self deprecating - I do love who I am inside this jail of a body, but wow what a wake up call. Oh and just be clear, I did eat the Paleo pizza with cheese and it is f**ng amazing. But this is a moment that I need to remember on this journey because it is a transforming one for me. And this is exactly why I want to keep this journal a reminder a long the way of small adjustments in habit and thinking that will hopefully end with a healthier me.

Three weeks of change

This is not my first day of starting to reorganize the way I eat. I started three weeks ago. Writing this journal came to me now because in all honestly, I know I can stick to this. Call me a coward - I can take it.

My two best food friends in the world are bread and cheese. I don't care in which way they are prepared, or by what nationality. A grilled cheese, quesadilla, pizza have always been my go to comfort foods. So the idea of quitting dairy (more on that later), bread and grains, and sugar really seemed a bit overwhelming.

I did find some very helpful sites to get started, my favorite being Paleo Leap, but I just kinda jumped in because that's what I do.  From the very start I began to feel better. I have done Atkins before, and have the same feeling like I am just running on a cleaner fuel. Of course with Atkins however - I found ways to hang out with my friend cheese.

Weight did not come off right away and I was very frustrated the first two-three weeks. I mean, come on.  I was doing my best and not even so much as looking at my 2 year old's slice of pizza. But at the end of week three I started to notice that my clothes were really starting to fit differently. I guess the point here is to remind myself that if I hit plateaus, I need to stick them out because this is a life change not a temporary contest for good behavior.

Setting Expectations

I want to start off by setting expectations. Not for you ... but for me. I am starting this journal because it is time for a serious change. I know myself well enough after dieting my whole life that if I do not commit to this in several ways, I could easily continue on with my bad habits.

So here, I promise myself to write often about my successes and failures. When I document what eat I become quickly aware of patterns - most of which I already know I do, but choose to somehow ignore. Here, it's in black and white.

I like to cook, but I am not a great cook. I don't like to exercise. There I said it.

I am not a nutritionist or expert on anything I am going to write about. This is again, really for me. I am not trying to impress anyone with my organized cupboards, perfectly crafted table, or flare for being a good hostess. This is just me finding the new me. Not even new - maybe just a lighter and happier me.